A tremendous weekend. It was like a big refreshing spiritual sigh. Isn’t that how weekends are supposed to be?
Sean and I went to our friend’s concert on Friday. I read some vandalism in the men’s room “Homosexuality cures Christians”. Of course, I was a little angry, but I just blew it off. As Sean and I were driving back to town. Things got really wierd… with me, not with Sean. I didn’t know what was really going on. As I battled through the silent prayers, those words from the bathroom were burning through my brain. I was lifted temporarily from the reality that I’ve come to grasp, and placed an a false reality, that of the countless people who don’t know Jesus. On our silent drive home, waves of tears and emptiness came as looked out the window, stumbling over this new perspective.
“Is this really how they see things? It’s so hopeless.”
I hated this place, but I knew I couldn’t leave until it made the impact that God intended. I had to try so hard to keep from breaking out in fury, slamming on Sean’s dash, screaming. “How can the unsaved see us this way? There’s no salt! There’s no light! Just a bitter glow that leaves the world empty!” It was at this point that I was pulled from the alternate reality.
I’ve been praying for passion to back up my life. I want to be one that the unsaved can come across, and then actually want the truth. God has been speaking to me… encouraging me really. Ministery is so much fun. No, I don’t mean standing up on a stage or anything. I mean talking to people; sharing Jesus. Asking people about their lives and letting the spirit lead my part of the conversation.
It’s such a cop-out, I think, to get in this rut of “living by example” and keeping our mouth shut. Jesus was the example, and he spoke truth to people. I don’t think He’d buy into the implication behind the whole “preach the gospel, and where necissary, use words” thing. It’s always necessary to use words! If two people who love eachother want to get married, and there’s never a propasal, it kinda’ changes everything doesn’t it? If someone walks into a resurant, looking very hungry with money-in-hand, but there’s never diolague with the casheer, the person stays hungry don’t they? Oh the power of words… Attracting the pray isn’t enough, we need to pull out the gun once in a while. Unknown to us, so many people througout our lives must want Christ, they just need an invitation. I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m laying down my excuses. “Oh it’s not my calling to evangelize… I have a different gifting…” cuz’ I’m not watching people I know wave goodbye as I leave them behind for heaven saying: “Sorry man, it just wasn’t my job to help you. I belive God wanted me to do something else.”
It’s all spirit-led and something of a divine calling that I can’t fathom or accomplish, but I’m taking the step mentally. Now I hope God has the ability to use me.
It is often times very discouraging to see people blatantly disgracing God that way. I agree its true that some people are not blessed with the gift of evangelism but some are. And despite that, its all of our jobs to do whatever we can, at whatever chance we get. But we all need something we’re passionate about with which to serve the Lord. Which is why I’m glad you’ve been so burdened about this!
This passage has often been an encouragement to me. Its good to know that our Lord is SOVEREIGN and one day there’ll be nothing anyone can do to deny it!
“‘Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,’ to the glory of God the Father.” Philippians 2:9-11
God has been good in the past and He’ll continue to be good in the future. I’ll be praying for you brother, that you’ll be open to however God wants to use you because I know He definitely has the ability! : smile :
I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I have felt that way. Many times almost to the point of tears even though surrounded by the most loving Christian friends. The thing that makes me want to cry even more is the fact that I am resistant to share Christ with them. We have the greatest gift ever… Eternal life from the sacrafice of our Humble King… and we don’t even bother to share this Good News with others. ::sigh::
Adam, you are seriously like the greatest encourager ever. Thank you so much for your comment on my site, it’s hard to believe at times that I’ve had a positive effect on anybody, yet, it’s not I, it’s totally Christ, how amazing. I fall so short and He still uses me… thank You Jesus. You rock Adam, allow your heart to be broken for the lost, cry out on their behalf… that’s how I came to salvation.
Yay! I finally found your xanga!
I ran across your xanga through the blogrings. You’ve very inspiring. God must be working in you. It’s encouraging to hear words so blunt and true. God Bless your ministy.