Man, I’m sick of being under attack.  I’m waiting for a day that I can rest and remember that everything is fine.  I know it is fine. I’m spoiled with most anything I want; and I know it doesn’t matter how I feel, but I can’t move beyond being broken and worn out.  I just tried doing some worship songs for like an hour and found that I had nothing to pour out into worship…  I could whine about 50 things now, but it’s a sour idea to write a xanga post on.  I’m also sick of seeing storms as thunder and water instead of seeing them as nourishment and growth.

So…  on a different note:  Arizona was great fun but a weekend was too short of a trip.  Gladly, we’re retuning later this month and we’ll be there for the multitude of about a week.  I have an amazing family…  every single one of them…  especially my wife.  I’m sure glad she’s always there to act retarded with me and have some good prayer and yummy unification times with.  I’m really grateful for all of my friends too…  I miss the ones in AZ, but I got a really fun and unique group of people around me here as well.  I have a theory that a little peice of God’s character is in each follower of His.  May sound a little odd, and nobody is hardly worth admiration (or not much beyond encouragement anyway), but the act of fellowship seems like a crucial and deep aspect of closeness to God, to me.

Well, I really wish the enemy would stop hunting me down…  He knows that I’m (we’re) onto something, more than a passion for a routine, and he wants to kill it and keep me (us) distracted.  Thoughts through circumstances flood in that make me wanna “try to enjoy myself a little”, or whatever.  I really don’t want to give up just to find myself in a living-death of entertainment and my feelings…  Endurance isn’t endurance until it’s been hard for a while, I guess.  That makes it a trophy, to me.  Soon I’ll say I’ve endured.  Please help me Abba.