Confronting Myself

I don’t think this is a “resolution” so much as it is a missing piece of my lifestyle. I once took the time to write a blog post several days a week; which perhaps was more like social journaling (back on Xanga when that was it’s primary function, before social media became streamlined and mainstream). Long after that, a little more than 10 years ago, I kept up a blog that coincided with the musical adventures Jess and I had, moving from AZ to GA, pursuing this dream as “Ananias” from our few artist-career-wins and open doors. I shared progress on our house remodel and progress on our studio album constantly.

Then “life happened” for a decade. It’s not that the events of my life weren’t worth sharing anymore; I just stopped making this assessment internally. I had a perspective shift; whether it was humility or discouragement. Maybe my life has felt less than worth-sharing or even been hard to consider as being significant enough to assess. I suppose I’ve mentally and somewhat spiritually been on “autopilot”; having kids, running a business, working on “some little projects” and not really reaching for anything more-significant. I have an only somewhat stable and only somewhat healthy lifestyle… but now I want more.

As I’m writing, it brings back this nostalgia of feeling my thoughts and life are worth writing about; worth working on and developing.

As a contrast, at this time of the day, I’d usually be either back in bed for an hour because I stayed up late consuming media, or I’d be back at it this morning, consuming media now instead of late last night. Why wouldn’t my own journey and mental clarity be worth more than something I can’t even hardly recall, but definitely wasted thousands of “right-nows” on?

In taking our time more seriously this New Year, Jess and I realized it only takes about 90 minutes to work out and have this “quiet time” every day; and would make such a big difference in our lives as it becomes a habit part of our healthy lifestyle again.